literature

Obsessed with Stargate Sg1

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skadieverwinter's avatar
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Literature Text

You know your obsessed with Stargate Sg1 when…

1. You are convinced doughnuts with blue jam are just really really small stargates.
2. You try to match Daniel Jackson’s coffee drinking habits.
3. You attempt to insert little lights behind your eyeballs to make your eyes glow like a Goa’uld, but fail miserably.
4. All your school assignments have subtle (or not) references to the TV show or the actors that are in it.
5. You run around with an oddly shaped stick pretending it is a staff weapon
6. Whilst high on Danielish amounts of coffee you attempt to divert extra amounts of power to your printer hoping a wormhole would open.
7. You think all the ninjas in the past are Jaff’a
8. You see ninjas all the time.
9. They are often in your bed
10. And in the shower with you.
11.  And popping out of people's shirts.
12. You go to Colorado and carefully observe every single mountain for any military activity, or even a large hole that could possibly lead to a large underground facility.
13. You watch the weather channel 24/7 so you can be more knowledgeable than Jonas. And you don’t let the fact you only have free to air TV stop you.
14. You like to make Jam.
15. When you get injured or sick, you go to the hospital and demand to be taken to the nearest sarcophagus.
16. You try to analyse every piece of metal and rock to see if it has Naquadah in it.
17. You are convinced you found some.
18. But the damn geologist people say that it is just a lump of granite. They are just jealous. You got a prettier rock than they do. They will pay. Mwahahhaha
19. You like to make idle conversation with fishermen
20. What?! They could quite easily be Jack!
21. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT THEY COULD BE!
22. When you get irritated with your teacher at school you point at them angrily and say Jaff’a Kree! You wait and expect a reaction. Then say “Well? KREE!…*growls* why aren’t you kreeing! Insolent mortal! Kneel before your god.” The teacher just stares at you blankly.. You raise your hand and try to vaporize her brain. You have detention for a week.
23. You’re convinced that Star Wars and Star Trek all the way to Everybody Loves Raymond steals ideas from Stargate.
24. You are subscribed to the following magazines: Archaeology, Archaeology now, Archaeology is hip, Archaeologists anonnymous. And you read them thoroughly for any possible discoveries of Goa’uld things.
25. When you go to the museum you poke all the artifacts to see if they are some sort of Goa’uld device.
26. You are banned from all museums in the Southern Hemisphere.
27. You think any one that wears a hat is Teal’c.
28. You think that any one who wears sunglasses and long trench coats are the NID.
29.  You attempt to melt a saucepan on your head so you can be a Jaff’a. You wake up one morning to find the saucepan gone, and you have a portion of yesterdays egg breakfast on your head. Your mother is not happy.
You know you're obsessed if you can identify with any of these. Or even laugh at them purely becuase they're funny. Or if you read it at all.

mooahaha
Stargate will r00l teh w0rld.
© 2003 - 2024 skadieverwinter
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OSRfanatic's avatar
You know you're obsessed if you think the Stargate series actually happened.