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Fan Fiction by ladymoonscar9828

Literature by MochaCocaFan


Submitted on
October 24, 2003
File Size
3.1 KB


11,188 (1 today)
319 (who?)
You know your obsessed with Stargate Sg1 when…

1. You are convinced doughnuts with blue jam are just really really small stargates.
2. You try to match Daniel Jackson’s coffee drinking habits.
3. You attempt to insert little lights behind your eyeballs to make your eyes glow like a Goa’uld, but fail miserably.
4. All your school assignments have subtle (or not) references to the TV show or the actors that are in it.
5. You run around with an oddly shaped stick pretending it is a staff weapon
6. Whilst high on Danielish amounts of coffee you attempt to divert extra amounts of power to your printer hoping a wormhole would open.
7. You think all the ninjas in the past are Jaff’a
8. You see ninjas all the time.
9. They are often in your bed
10. And in the shower with you.
11.  And popping out of people's shirts.
12. You go to Colorado and carefully observe every single mountain for any military activity, or even a large hole that could possibly lead to a large underground facility.
13. You watch the weather channel 24/7 so you can be more knowledgeable than Jonas. And you don’t let the fact you only have free to air TV stop you.
14. You like to make Jam.
15. When you get injured or sick, you go to the hospital and demand to be taken to the nearest sarcophagus.
16. You try to analyse every piece of metal and rock to see if it has Naquadah in it.
17. You are convinced you found some.
18. But the damn geologist people say that it is just a lump of granite. They are just jealous. You got a prettier rock than they do. They will pay. Mwahahhaha
19. You like to make idle conversation with fishermen
20. What?! They could quite easily be Jack!
22. When you get irritated with your teacher at school you point at them angrily and say Jaff’a Kree! You wait and expect a reaction. Then say “Well? KREE!…*growls* why aren’t you kreeing! Insolent mortal! Kneel before your god.” The teacher just stares at you blankly.. You raise your hand and try to vaporize her brain. You have detention for a week.
23. You’re convinced that Star Wars and Star Trek all the way to Everybody Loves Raymond steals ideas from Stargate.
24. You are subscribed to the following magazines: Archaeology, Archaeology now, Archaeology is hip, Archaeologists anonnymous. And you read them thoroughly for any possible discoveries of Goa’uld things.
25. When you go to the museum you poke all the artifacts to see if they are some sort of Goa’uld device.
26. You are banned from all museums in the Southern Hemisphere.
27. You think any one that wears a hat is Teal’c.
28. You think that any one who wears sunglasses and long trench coats are the NID.
29.  You attempt to melt a saucepan on your head so you can be a Jaff’a. You wake up one morning to find the saucepan gone, and you have a portion of yesterdays egg breakfast on your head. Your mother is not happy.
You know you're obsessed if you can identify with any of these. Or even laugh at them purely becuase they're funny. Or if you read it at all.

Stargate will r00l teh w0rld.
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Atlantima Featured By Owner Edited Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"Why aren't you kreeing? I can't believe you don't kree!"

So funny I cried laughing.
Skye-Rhyder Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014
I have never seen blue jam.

Blue milk smells toxic.
Myrddin24 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014
who knows the Ancient alphabet by heart i sure do i printed acopy of it that i found on google images
Myrddin24 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014

You know your obsessed with Stargate Atlantis when…

1. you make a stargate in Lego Digital Designer
2. you play a lot of stargate games on roblox
3. you pretend to dial the DHD
4. you would want to trade anything to live in Atlantis
5. you keep trying to ascend get the urge to feed


SamanthaWilde Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
When I read 4 I was like: O crap...! I really need to start watching more 24 instead of SG1....
SamanthaWilde Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
When I read 4 I was like: O crap...! I really need to start watching more 24 instead of SG1....
BrokenRobe Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Hahaha...I think I cracked a rib! I needed this!
jjackknife Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i laughed so hard XD
nk-twist Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Almost everything. Every damn time.
:iconsighsignplz: I miss Stargate.
Although I did get to meet Corin Nemec (Jonas) this year at Oz Comic Con and he was so sweet and hilarious and oh my god I was so excited
BeautyInBlackandGrey Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh my god I am so JEALOUS!!!!
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