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Fan Fiction by ladymoonscar9828

Literature by MochaCocaFan




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Submitted on
October 24, 2003
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You know your obsessed with Stargate Sg1 when…

1. You are convinced doughnuts with blue jam are just really really small stargates.
2. You try to match Daniel Jackson’s coffee drinking habits.
3. You attempt to insert little lights behind your eyeballs to make your eyes glow like a Goa’uld, but fail miserably.
4. All your school assignments have subtle (or not) references to the TV show or the actors that are in it.
5. You run around with an oddly shaped stick pretending it is a staff weapon
6. Whilst high on Danielish amounts of coffee you attempt to divert extra amounts of power to your printer hoping a wormhole would open.
7. You think all the ninjas in the past are Jaff’a
8. You see ninjas all the time.
9. They are often in your bed
10. And in the shower with you.
11.  And popping out of people's shirts.
12. You go to Colorado and carefully observe every single mountain for any military activity, or even a large hole that could possibly lead to a large underground facility.
13. You watch the weather channel 24/7 so you can be more knowledgeable than Jonas. And you don’t let the fact you only have free to air TV stop you.
14. You like to make Jam.
15. When you get injured or sick, you go to the hospital and demand to be taken to the nearest sarcophagus.
16. You try to analyse every piece of metal and rock to see if it has Naquadah in it.
17. You are convinced you found some.
18. But the damn geologist people say that it is just a lump of granite. They are just jealous. You got a prettier rock than they do. They will pay. Mwahahhaha
19. You like to make idle conversation with fishermen
20. What?! They could quite easily be Jack!
21. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT THEY COULD BE!
22. When you get irritated with your teacher at school you point at them angrily and say Jaff’a Kree! You wait and expect a reaction. Then say “Well? KREE!…*growls* why aren’t you kreeing! Insolent mortal! Kneel before your god.” The teacher just stares at you blankly.. You raise your hand and try to vaporize her brain. You have detention for a week.
23. You’re convinced that Star Wars and Star Trek all the way to Everybody Loves Raymond steals ideas from Stargate.
24. You are subscribed to the following magazines: Archaeology, Archaeology now, Archaeology is hip, Archaeologists anonnymous. And you read them thoroughly for any possible discoveries of Goa’uld things.
25. When you go to the museum you poke all the artifacts to see if they are some sort of Goa’uld device.
26. You are banned from all museums in the Southern Hemisphere.
27. You think any one that wears a hat is Teal’c.
28. You think that any one who wears sunglasses and long trench coats are the NID.
29.  You attempt to melt a saucepan on your head so you can be a Jaff’a. You wake up one morning to find the saucepan gone, and you have a portion of yesterdays egg breakfast on your head. Your mother is not happy.
You know you're obsessed if you can identify with any of these. Or even laugh at them purely becuase they're funny. Or if you read it at all.

mooahaha
Stargate will r00l teh w0rld.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconatlantima:
Atlantima Featured By Owner Edited Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"Why aren't you kreeing? I can't believe you don't kree!"

So funny I cried laughing.
Reply
:iconskye-rhyder:
Skye-Rhyder Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014
I have never seen blue jam.

Blue milk smells toxic.
Reply
:iconmyrddin24:
Myrddin24 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014
who knows the Ancient alphabet by heart i sure do i printed acopy of it that i found on google images
Reply
:iconmyrddin24:
Myrddin24 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014

You know your obsessed with Stargate Atlantis when…

1. you make a stargate in Lego Digital Designer
2. you play a lot of stargate games on roblox
3. you pretend to dial the DHD
4. you would want to trade anything to live in Atlantis
5. you keep trying to ascend 
6.you get the urge to feed

LOL

Reply
:iconsamanthawilde:
SamanthaWilde Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
When I read 4 I was like: O crap...! I really need to start watching more 24 instead of SG1....
Reply
:iconsamanthawilde:
SamanthaWilde Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
When I read 4 I was like: O crap...! I really need to start watching more 24 instead of SG1....
Reply
:iconbrokenrobe:
BrokenRobe Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Hahaha...I think I cracked a rib! I needed this!
Reply
:iconjjackknife:
jjackknife Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i laughed so hard XD
Reply
:iconnk-twist:
nk-twist Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Almost everything. Every damn time.
:iconsighsignplz: I miss Stargate.
Although I did get to meet Corin Nemec (Jonas) this year at Oz Comic Con and he was so sweet and hilarious and oh my god I was so excited
Reply
:iconbeautyinblackandgrey:
BeautyInBlackandGrey Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh my god I am so JEALOUS!!!!
Reply
:iconcandiceoz:
CandiceOz Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I am the Ultimate Stargate fan! This is the best thing ever.
Reply
:icontsarevnamaria:
TsarevnaMaria Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
My favorite is # 25. hahahh WIN!! :rofl:
Reply
:iconfrogsforever101:
frogsforever101 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
All so totally true. #'s 2,3,5,7,12,13,18,20,22,25,27 and 29 all either mad me laugh or are things I already do
Reply
:iconsamplusjackforever:
samplusjackforever Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2012
that. was. frickin. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:icon13evie13:
13Evie13 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmmmmmmm, I have been watching almost nothing but stargate gate for about 4 years, I'm pretty obsessed. But You forgot that every time you see a monk o another show you see an Ori preist.
Reply
:iconartkill36:
Artkill36 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You forgot if you ship Daniel and Vala all the way to the point where you syay you would marry them yourself, or you are so obsessed with how cute Daniel is you actually are jealous of Vala
Reply
:iconzippyzoo77:
zippyzoo77 Featured By Owner May 22, 2012
Wonderful. You have just made my day. Even more than I'm still carrying a lizard did. But my guess is you won't know that. Still, wonderful.
Reply
:iconkalashnikovmarine:
kalashnikovmarine Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Protip for #12: Cheyenne mountain is a real mountain in Colorado Springs, there is also an ACTUAL US military base inside it but unfortunately there's no star gate there.
Reply
:iconballetdivagirl:
balletdivagirl Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I a going to have to make my mother read this. Ever since we got netflix we have watched nothing but stargate
Reply
:iconpersephonewatching:
PersephoneWatching Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I thought I was the only person that demanded a teacher should Kree!
Where do you subscribe to Archiologists Annoninous?
Reply
:iconooelectricsquirreloo:
oOelectricsquirrelOo Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well....judging from this list I am most
definetly a stargate fan. :)
Reply
:iconcrackedabyss:
CrackedAbyss Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2011
My god i can't stop laughing. I LOVE stargate.
Great list.
Reply
:iconanimagusblack:
AnimagusBlack Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I lov stargate!!and none of my frends know wut it is!!! GRRR
Reply
:iconmichauzen:
MicHauzen Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011
Reply
:iconraisingthedead:
RaisingtheDead Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this! :headbang:
Reply
:iconwesternspice:
WesternSpice Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2011  Student Digital Artist
HAHAHAHAHAHA definitely!!!!! I agree with all of them... :D
Reply
:icontechhood:
TechHood Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Done a few of these myself....
Reply
:icongnometheif3000:
GnomeTheif3000 Featured By Owner May 24, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
the first part of your signature almost made me cry. :'(
Reply
:iconxecaria:
Xecaria Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I have actully done some of these. One time I was bleeding really bad and I told my mom to take me to the local Sarcophagus. Good thing she's a big fan too.
Reply
:iconcherryleafoxtrot:
CherryleaFoxtrot Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
XDXDXD

"If we find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it... Lose it... It means go crazy... nuts... insane, bonzo, no longer in posession of one's faculties, three fries short of a happy meal, WACKO!!!!"
Reply
:iconmorganiscewl:
MorganIsCewl Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
I'm so going to to 22 next year!
Reply
:iconguurak626:
Guurak626 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2010
Omfg, dude, I freaking love this!!! And yes, yes it will. I agree, mwahahaha.... :)
Reply
:iconbonegirl321:
Bonegirl321 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
yrup i can relate to this
Reply
:iconcho-san:
Cho-san Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
Wow this is just epic XD ! Goo Stargate!~~
Reply
:icontratlantis-sg-1:
TRAtlantis-SG-1 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2010
How bout: You forsake your foreign language homework to learn Ancient, Goa'uld, and Abydonian.

When deciding on your senior quote, you imediately turn to your list of Oma Desala quotes

When deciding on your senior quote, you imediately turn to your Ancient to English dictionary.
Reply
:icontratlantis-sg-1:
TRAtlantis-SG-1 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2010
I match Daniel's coffee drinking habits every day!!!
Reply
:icontratlantis-sg-1:
TRAtlantis-SG-1 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2010
I match Daniel's coffee drinking habits every day!!!
Reply
:iconauroramusic:
AuroraMusic Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2010
LOL =) this made my day!!!
Reply
:iconhiddeneyesintwilight:
hiddeneyesintwilight Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010
ya, i am obsessed with stargate, now do one that mentions the wraith.
Reply
:iconmissyme48:
missyme48 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2010
do u no wot the NID stands from.
Reply
:iconmissyme48:
missyme48 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2010
lol
Reply
:iconlary3reise:
lary3reise Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010
this is indeed win! man,the one with the sarcophagus almost made me fell off my chair!!!:lmao::lol::rofl: and yeah, i DO hope that one of those fishermen will someday turn out to be jack:love: dude,this totally rocks!!!
Reply
:iconkiylateehee:
kiylateehee Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010
i laughed soooo hard i cried when reading this!!!! 22 is my nuber one favorite!! why? because i mess around with my friends like that, saying kree all the time haha
Reply
:iconstargate---command:
STARGATE---COMMAND Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2010  Student Digital Artist
cool
Reply
:iconsavvyred:
SavvyRed Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2010  Student Writer
30. You watch Stargate SG-1 with your boyfriend and his mom and their three cats.
31. You consider renaming one of those cats Schrodinger.
32. You consider renaming ALL of those cats Schrodinger.

:icontealcplz::iconsaysplz::iconletter-iplz::iconletter-nplz::iconletter-dplz::iconletter-eplz::iconletter-eplz::iconletter-dplz:
:iconcheezburgerplz::iconcheezburgerplz::iconcheezburgerplz:
Reply
:iconemokittenlovesyou:
emokittenlovesyou Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
HAHA!! omg... I laughed so hard I cried. THis is fantastic, great job- seriously! XD haha!! wow... Love it!
Reply
:iconskadieverwinter:
skadieverwinter Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
Thanks!
Reply
:iconviteia:
Viteia Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
HAHA this is great and i now can tell you i must be obsesed because i have done a few of these things you are officialy awesome
Reply
:icondaniel-the-hedgehog:
Daniel-the-hedgehog Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2010
omfg the jaffa'kree one im totally trying that
Reply
:iconmusicandloverock:
musicandloverock Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
#4 actualy used pictures and names of the cast/charcters in my asl class for a project lol
Reply
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